No! I Don’t Need Pills!

I posted this video about how I was struggling with this fussy baby. I explained how mad I was at the world and that I decided to instead focus on those around me that were showing up and helping me. I got emotional as I talked about feeling so loved as I realized how many people cared about ME! Amongst others, my brother was the last person I expected to be helping me through this, but he has been showing up without hesitation week after week.

 

https://youtu.be/1zMUkNPaEbE

So many of my friends loved the video, they appreciated the emotional raw mess that I showed all 900 of my social media “friends”. I rarely cry in front of people, so this is a pretty big deal to let others see me this way. I’ve always viewed tears as a weakness. But the general response was praise for being so “brave”. Not at all what I expected.

My friend Dajon has helped me embrace my sensitivity and use it. My friend Melissa helped me focus on stepping into my gifts. She talked about how we couldn’t possibly all be the same, nothing would get accomplished. My friend Rocky convinced me to start documenting my life, good and bad. My friend Kim helped me understand that there are others just like me that need to hear “you’re not alone”.

Multiple people (some I have never talked to or met in person) reached out to me with gratitude for saying what they were afraid to say. Some had the same struggles with a colic baby and the emotions and chaos that comes with it.

After fighting to capture an audience for more than 18 seconds with these business videos, I was shocked as how many watched my 5 min video.  I also didn’t expect people to misunderstand what the video was about.

I received “cheer up” – I’m not sad, I’m stressed, I’m beat down, I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I’m crying in the video because I’m so grateful and feeling so loved.

I received “Here’s some resources”– I’m not sad, I’m stressed, I’m beat down, I’m physically  and mentally exhausted. I’m crying in the video because I’m so grateful and feeling so loved.

I received “You need to talk to a professional”– lol yes tell me what I need bystander! I’m not sad, I’m stressed, I’m beat down, I’m physically and mentally exhausted.

My least favorite (please don’t be offended if you mentioned this to me, I heard it too many times for this to be personal)

I received “Have you thought about a prescription” – Yes, I thought about how numb it made me feel 4 years ago when I tried it with my first unplanned pregnancy. I thought about all the awful side effects. I thought about how it would be a “quick fix” rather than dealing with the emotions, struggles, pain. While I have plenty of friends that have great success with prescriptions,  I don’t need a pill! I need 8 hours of sleep, a healthy meal, a night of free babysitting!

I apologize if this comes off rude. I’m trying to be assertive in how I’m feeling and how these suggestions come across to someone who is struggling with a tough situation.

This is my therapy- angrily typing on my keyboard, creating silly videos about my shit show of a life, and venting about the chaos. We were all made differently. You can judge or you can accept.